Lately I've been working as a volunteer at my local Council on Aging. That is the result of being retired and on Social Security. Additionally, it's because I spent several years as the computer nerd for the Council one county away. I also spent two years on the technical steering committee of the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. I am now 64 years old, myself ... still cynical, but more "open" than I used to be.
Today I had a "come to Mama" event. I was sitting out front of the Council on Aging building, waiting for meals to be delivered for Adult Day Care and Congregate meals. A frail lady came out to sit on the bench to my left. Subsequent conversation gave me to understand that she was born in 1939 in Cincinnati (lets call her Ms. Cincinnati) and had moved to Florida not long after I was born. I offered her my seat in the shade ... but she demurred, saying she preferred to sit in the sun.
That prompted more information from the lady sitting next to me. That lady was one month younger than I, an ex-nurse with visible shaking of her hands. She explained about Ms. Cincinnati ... below the fold.
It seems the Council on Aging bus picked Ms. Cincinnati up to bring her to Adult Day Care, a visit she enjoys for the activities and social contact. But, the bus ride has many stops and spends too much time on the road for Ms. Cincinnati's bladder. Two or three days a week, she pees on herself before she can get to Day Care.
I saw it today. She is embarrassed by this and will not allow the staff to make a "fuss". Instead, she calls her daughter, who comes to pick her up and take her back home.
So, you the reader say, "Yes, a touching story, but whats the point?" Here's the point. We have become a society of "personal responsibility" and that sucks!
Yes, the bus driver "should" stop when Ms. Cincinnati needs to go to the bathroom, but (s)he has a schedule to keep which is enforced by his/her boss. In addition, (s)he has legal liabilities for those who may wander because of dementia (I've seen it, don't tell me it doesn't happen).
Ms. Cincinnati is caused considerable embarrassment ... but why? Do you really need to ask that question? We've all been trained to control our natural instincts. Simply because those instincts are no longer under our control does not mean we no longer feel the stigma attached to their loss.
Why is Ms. Cincinnati subjected to this stigma several days a week?
It's quite simple. We Americans have been trained to be self-sufficient for decades, if not a couple of centuries. Our health care system takes advantage of that. Our families expect that ... after all, that's what our parents (Ms. Cincinnati??) taught us.
As a nation, we need to face up to something about our national character. Self-sufficiency is not an absolute societal good ... in fact, it is now destroying our national vitality as evidenced by our cost of health care. For example, watch the science-based video here on it's effects.
I'm convinced that our health care issues are more deeply rooted and more perfidious than even we progressives realize. Forget the detached views of the Senate or the Congress. Even we, the citizens most effected, do not realize how deeply detached we are from the trials of our closest neighbors.
How sick are we?